And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Or just a coincidence? This still, unbroken skin, You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. 2. Agatha Trunchbull: I did! Like hell! There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . What about me, then? [She flicks the screens off again.] Oil of Violets hair tonic. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. The Lord of the Rings . I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. . Harry Wormwood: Where is the maggot known as Nigel? The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. A life. They then saunter off. What? And so you think you're A-ble Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! I've got a plane to catch at three. Tomorrow at one? Yes. a contract. But I didn't . Yes, sir. MATILDA (Bruce!) I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . I'm not paying it. Oh, my head! This is the worst day of my life! A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. All right. Kim . One look at my face and it's plain to see. 3. Well? RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. BIG KID [BEN] And the 4th cost $1,100. Two, three, four! I have suffered in this jail. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. The biggest burp I had ever heard about! Just because you find that life's not fair, it . . MATILDA Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Yourself, Matilda? [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] To the rules. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE I think I'm gonna keep this on. MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. Who would be here to sign for the packages? But this little girl . Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. No, but don't people need good cars? You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. We give the Whisper Challenge a shot with a little spin on it. Matilda Wormwood! My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] | 2. It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] CHILDREN Matilda: . MRS WORMWOOD exits. . It's not mine! . All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? . MRS WORMWOOD Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Besides, even if you didn't do it, I'm going to punish you, because I'm big and you're small, I'm right and you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it! Neigh! MATILDA Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! MR WORMWOOD [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. You missed it. Go on, then! You shall be . Flashbulbs go off. He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Harry Wormwood: See how they shine? Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. . Check it if you don't believe me. The fibers fused to my hair! Won't change a thing. Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY . . Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. Her mind? How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Matilda: so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! But here it is, coming true: Alternate Versions The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. . Yes! MR WORMWOOD Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. School? MISS HONEY Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! It's very quaint, it's very sweet, Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. And yet every single life, The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. Who is this, babe? Oh, it's Miss Honey. What's wrong with me? A really strong stomach. in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. 4 0 obj MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] It's going to be brilliant! Not a jot! google_ad_height=90; They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. Well, you got a light. Last week, I read quite a few. She's going to be your teacher. COUPLES Restores my faith in human kind. LAVENDER This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN You should stay out of trouble, Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. MAN: So hilarious. Perhaps I'll wait. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] COUPLE 3 All grown-ups get scared, just like children. And if it's not right, 1 0 obj BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Matilda: Mrs. Wormwood: A beautiful, beautiful little girl. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. stream . google_ad_width=120; DOCTOR RUDOLPHO [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Lord knows we've tried. She stands paralyzed in fear. Her mind is incredible. I'll tell you when you are full. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. She stops in triumph. Do you need a sin for your next confession? Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. I'll have her for that. Harry Wormwood: Twelve times two is twenty-four. You're just wasting enerGy, Don't tell me. I'm never wrong! 4. Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. What am doing here? MISS TRUNCHBULL But even you, Bruce, Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Oh Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. [He laughs then peters out.] NIGEL [turns and sees Harry's hair] I don't know anybody who did. Oh no, Headmistress. [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. MR WORMWOOD You gotta get up! I swear, I won't take our love for granite. Loud, loud, loud, loud! MATILDA [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Do you think I altered my intended elevation? 8. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Qui mon fella Italiano. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. Just you wait for phys-ed! Would rob them of their hope of living happily. I can feel it in my hips. . From a book in the library. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. There's more the second part. The apple never rots far from the tree! MISS HONEY A little less dressing like your mum. An idiot? At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . Matilda: so I pick it up and - No! I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . [chanting with the rest of the class] MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Oh, very rich. They are good runners, sir. MATILDA have you read a whole book? Harry Wormwood: You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Maybe. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. [wielding a hammer throw] Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! . Ooh, me, me, me, miss! 21. celebrities! Mr Wormwood! Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! Oh, my hair! [turns to Michael] From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? Mind? Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. In the cupboard. Meet Matilda. Now, that is how you do it! Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. Four times two is eight. No, it's fine. That love and fate and a touch of stupidity | MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. Then get out of town. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] Bye-bye, sir. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . Stand out from the crowd! [He sits down in a zen position.]. Lissy Doll, I called her. You seem to think that people like people what are clever. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. What do you want, Miss Chutney? Do I allow pigs in my school? So, Matilda. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. To read? He's going to blow. MATILDA . She laughs. Am I . Matilda: I'll tell you tomorrow. CHILDREN Just get on your feet, Jenny. I have suffered in this Jail, MISS HONEY The school bell rings and all the children march out. RUDOLPHO It's a good thing I have my library. That's not fair! Dad says I should watch more TV. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Yes. To hammer throwing, life, and school MRS WORMWOOD This is Rudolpho! Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. Look at these trophies. Matilda: MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. MISS HONEY AAAAAHHHHH! Look at this. Crush that little weasel! . Mr. Wormwood: Just because you find that life's not fair, it MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. She holds the hat out to him. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Harry Wormwood: There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. MISS HONEY But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? She's reading a book. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? 3 0 obj Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Matilda: What are you waiting for? . I have my ion you. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. MATILDA CHILDREN Between you and it, MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. . Goofs Matilda? Harry Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA (Bruce!) AAAHH! MR WORMWOOD Where'd all this come from? Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. What's wrong with you? Not dressed in hospital cotton, MR WORMWOOD . Of course I am. Ah-ah-aah-ah If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. WOMAN: That's right, honey. Eat! Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. As I was saying, Matilda. Yes. MATILDA Are you listening? MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Everybody loves a little something exotic. Oh, parle Italiano? Jenny: 6. But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. What can I do? "Patience, my love," the husband replied. You're being pathetic! Oh, yes. The boy's a looney. Am I wrong? BRUCE . I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! MATILDA School is really fun, according to my mum. What?! These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. MRS WORMWOOD No one's gonna care if you don't care, MRS WORMWOOD 5. The scene changes to the library. MISS TRUNCHBULL $5,000? And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. . . Michael: [off to the side] MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. Even if what you got is not a lot. Miss Honey: As long as you enjoyed the cake. And if you cry it will be double. Might she be a little brighter than her class? You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? Don't take me to Chokey! She found a small cottage. The more that you try, DOCTOR I've got a whole house to look after! MATILDA MR WORMWOOD He'd call me bumblebee. Some rats are gonna die today. Lovekins, where's my breakfast? You can't. Can I ask you a question? Agatha, This is Magnus. [She turns the screens back on.]. MATILDA MATILDA What's wrong with the telly? Nicholas Nickleby . The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. google_color_border="EDC7C2"; Agatha Trunchbull: Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? NIGEL MAN: We'll have to change his school. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. You're just wasting energy, And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. What? PERSPERATION! I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Considerably roomier inside. MISS HONEY Well I had to take a shower, Harry! No. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. MISS TRUNCHBULL . Tricks!" Agatha Trunchbull: Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. If you are having fun, you are not learning. have you read a whole book? Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! The hat shrunk! Cancelled, because my wife is . The table stops and the hands hit the ground. AAAAAAAHHHH! Connections She says they make me look pretty! MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL I shall pound you. . Yes. Here in the library again, are we? No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. Just go back to school! He's eaten it all. Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. That lady? Smile for mother! When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. . MISS TRUNCHBULL That's right, honey, look at mummy. I am off to bleach my roots . 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. You have to put it right. 6. LAVENDER MATILDA MISS HONEY MR WORMWOOD exits. Matilda: MISS TRUNCHBULL Eight times two is sixteen. Who wants stories? He's part Italian, you know. . Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Miss Honey: One should avoid confrontation when possible. Keep out of reach of children. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. You and I must be Weedles. MISS TRUNCHBULL Why would you want green hair? BRUCE And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? ". The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! . MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST "Time is on our side. No, no, no, no [ad lib. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! LAVENDER What is this, a hot tub party? Even me. You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, It is, is it? Mine are driving me crazy. Isn't there some more? For being a smart aleck! Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? . Now, can anyone read this? If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. MISS TRUNCHBULL and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] Oh, it will only take a moment. . And now she's after me! For this newt, you piss-worm! But I didn't do anything. We're rehearsing. Matilda: MATILDA [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] This living 'ell. Zinnia Wormwood: [noticing her books] Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! DOCTOR It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. . I can! "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". I told you I was supposed to start school in September. "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! DOCTOR BIG KID [TAYLOR] Oh, yes. Zinnia Wormwood: [:g-] What about rules, Honey? Jenny: Don't let her win. If you sit around and let them get on top, you The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. Miss Honey: We can have our cake and it it too!

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